Where the Cave Ends & the Mountain Begins
Setha Phongsavan & Souvanna Miranda Sivilay Interact With Echoes of the Secret War
Part of Newest’s series of speculative dialogues putting living artists in conversation with the past, the following is a collaboration between artist Souvanna Miranda Sivilay and writer Setha Phongsavan, second generation Laotian refugees living in Toronto, ON and Providence, RI respectively.
Their speculative works—Phongsavan’s screenplay and Sivilay’s works of illustration and animation—are exercises in making sense of tortuous histories where much is unknown. The turbulence endured by the artists’ relatives between 1964 and 1973, now known as the Secret War, was a covert intervention into the Laotian Civil War which had begun over a decade prior. Lacking media coverage and redacted documentation, local sensitivities and barriers to access, and multiple official histories are among the factors that frustrate any sense of coherence. As is often the case with projects that unpack intergenerational trauma, the artists are researching events that many people who lived through them would rather forget.
Despite it being the most relentless bombing campaign—by tonnage and duration—in the history of world, the proxy war in Laos is underemphasized and overshadowed by other events of the Cold War. An earlier working title Sivilay used for this project was LAO TV, where LAO was an acronym standing for “Let’s All Overlook.”
Phongsavan describes the discomfiture of approaching, naive and unshielded, one’s own cultural heritage when so little is commonly known about it. “I even felt embarrassed I didn’t know that part about Laos, my own people’s history. It wasn’t something my family told me about. Can you imagine being an American and never learning your country was bombed for nine years straight?”
In the speculative screenplay below, Phongsavan grapples with complex questions of culpability and forgiveness that are still unfolding, along with the potential for reconciliation and rebuilding. Composite characters are drawn from ongoing primary and archival research; family members including his grandfather who was killed fighting for Laos independence; and the people he met, on a recent trip to Laos, who he describes as “the most resilient people on the planet.”
Sivilay’s illustrations synthesize historical references with imagery Phongsavan recalls from his time in Laos: “rolling hills pockmarked with endless bomb craters.” In the villages, “they took old bomb shells and turned them into pots to grow food and fences for shelter,” he says. “In other words, they took things meant to kill them and turned them into things that save lives.”
FADE IN:
INT. A HUMBLE VILLAGE HOUSE – EVENING
THE ROOM IS DIMLY LIT BY ONE COOKSTOVE FIRE, CASTING SHADOWS ON THE FACES OF THAM, A WEATHERED VILLAGER, AND PHOUKAO, THE FIGHTER PILOT WHO WAS ONCE HAILED AS A PATRIOT AND HERO. AFTER YEARS OF WAR, THEY MEET AT LAST AS PHOUKAO ENTERS THAM’S HOME AND SITS DOWN. THE ROOM IS FILLED WITH QUIET TENSION AND UNSPOKEN RESENTMENT.
THAM
(slowly, with humor)
ໃນທີ່ສຸດ Phoukhao ຜູ້ຍິງໃຫຍ່ກໍກັບຄືນມ
ອີກເທື່ອຫນຶ່ງໃນຕອນກາງຄືນ
ເຂົາເຈົ້າຮ້ອງເພງກ່ຽວກັບຄວາມກ້າຫານການເສຍສະຫຼະຂອງເຈົ້າ
At long last, the great Phoukao has returned!
Once again, in the night.
They sang songs about your bravery, your sacrifice.
PHOUKAO
(calm and cautious)
ຂ້ອຍບໍ່ໄດ້ຢູ່ຄົນດຽວ
ພວກເຮົາທຸກຄົນໄດ້ເສຍສະລະ
I was not alone. We all made sacrifices.
THAM
(continuing)
ແຕ່ທ່ານບໍ່ເຄີຍໄດ້ຍິນສຽງຮ້ອງໄຫ້ຂອງແມ່ເມື່ອລະເບີດຕົກ
ເຂົາເຈົ້າເອີ້ນເຈົ້າວ່າເປັນວິລະບຸລຸດບໍ
But you never heard the wailing of mothers when those bombs fell. They called you a hero, didn’t they?
PHOUKAO
(softly, with regret)
Tham ຂ້ອຍບໍ່ເຄີຍຢາກໄດ້ນີ້ພວກເຮົາກໍາລັງຕໍ່ສູ້ເພື່ອ Laos ເພື່ອເສລີພາບຂອງພວກເຮົາ
ບ້ານເຮົາໄດ້ແບກຫາບພາລະແລະຂ້າພະເຈົ້າຮູ້ເຖິງຄວາມເຈັບປວດທີ່ເຮົາທຸກຄົນໄດ້ອົດທົນ
I never wanted any of this, Tham. We were fighting for Laos, for our freedom.
Our home. I’ve carried a burden, and I know the pain we’ve all endured.
(The wind slowly hums louder outside)
THAM
(shaking his head)
ບ້ານເຮົາຫມົດແລ້ວດິນງາມຖືກສານພິດ
ອິດສະລະພາບຂອງທ່ານໄດ້ສ້າງຄວາມເສຍຫາຍໃຫ້ແກ່ຄອບຄົວແລະລູກຂອງພວກເຮົາ
Fighting for Laos? Our homes are gone.
Our beautiful land where my ancestors have farmed for generations is poisoned.
Your “freedom” has broken our families, stolen our children.
PHOUKAO
(defensive)
ແມ່ນແຕ່ຜູ້ທີ່ພວກເຮົາບໍ່ເຫັນດີນໍາ
I have spent my life fighting for all Laotians.
Even the ones we disagree with.
THAM
(unbroken)
ພວກເຮົາອະທິຖານທຸກຄືນ
ສໍາລັບເກົ້າປີ
ເພື່ອສັນຕິພາບສໍາລັບຄໍາຕອບ
ພຣະເຈົ້າເຮັດໃຫ້ມັນຢຸດເຊົາ
ກະລຸນາໃຫ້ອະໄພພວກເຮົາ
ພວກເຮົາໄດ້ເຮັດຫຍັງເພື່ອຈະໄດ້ຮັບກຳມະທີ່ຫິວເລືອດດັ່ງກ່າວ
We prayed every night.
For 9 years.
For peace. For answers.
God, make it stop.
Please forgive us.
What did we DO to accrue such bloodthirsty karma?
PHOUKAO
(angry)
ເຈົ້າອະທິດຖານໃນຂະນະທີ່ປ່ອຍໃຫ້ຄົນອື່ນຕໍ່ສູ້ເພື່ອເຈົ້າ
You prayed while letting others fight for you.
THAM
(resentful)
ພວກເຮົາໄດ້ອະທິຖານຂໍຝົນ
ເພື່ອປູກຜັກຂອງພວກເຮົາເພາະບໍ່ມີຫຍັງເຫຼືອກິນຢູ່ໃນຖໍ້າ
ແຕ່ທ່ານເປັນພຽງຜູ້ດຽວທີ່ໄດ້ຕອບຄໍາອະທິຖານຂອງພວກເຮົາ
ເຄີຍເປັນເຈົ້າມາຕະຫຼອດ
ວິລະຊົນ ຂອງພວກເຮົາສົ່ງຝົນຕົກເປັນລະເບີດໃສ່ພວກເຮົາທຸກໆຄືນ
ການສົ່ງບັນພະບຸລຸດຂອງເຮົາເຂົ້າສູ່ນະລົກນິລັນດອນ
We prayed for rain.
To grow our crops because there was nothing left to eat in the caves.
But you were the only ones that answered our prayers.
It was you all along.
Our “heroes”, delivering rain as bombs upon us every night.
Blessing our ancestral land into an eternal Hell.
PHOUKAO
(from angry to sad)
ການຕໍ່ສູ້ເພື່ອສິ່ງທີ່ຖືກຕ້ອງບໍ່ເຄີຍໄປຕາມທີ່ທ່ານຕ້ອງການ
ຂ້າພະເຈົ້າໄດ້ສູນເສຍຄົນດີຢູ່ທີ່ນັ້ນທີ່ໄວ້ວາງໃຈຂ້າພະເຈົ້າ
Fighting for what’s right never goes the way you think.
I lost good men out there that trusted me, true patriots.
THAM
(mournful)
ລົງທີ່ນີ້ພວກເຮົາມີວິລະບຸລຸດຂອງພວກເຮົາເອງ
ພະຍາຍາມຮັກສາຄອບຄົວຂອງພວກເຮົາໃຫ້ມີຊີວິດຢູ່
Down here, we had our own heroes,
trying to keep our families alive in the gutter.
PHOUKOU
(Swallowed hard)
ທ່ານເປັນວິລະຊົນເກີນໄປ Tham
ທ່ານໄດ້ລອດຊີວິດຢູ່ໃນຖໍ້າປົກປ້ອງປະຊາຊົນຫມູ່ບ້ານຂອງທ່ານ
ທ່ານເປັນຕໍານານ
You were heroes too, Tham.
Surviving in those caves, protecting your villagers, that’s the stuff of legends.
THAM
(guilty)
ບໍ່ແມ່ນພວກເຮົາທຸກຄົນ
Not all of us.
(Thunder strikes in the distance)
PHOUKAO
(takes a breath)
ບໍ່ແມ່ນບັນຫາຂອງທ່ານ
That’s not on you.
THAM
(ashamed)
ພວກທ່ານນັກບິນໄດ້ມີທາງເລືອກຢູ່ທີ່ນັ້ນ
ພວກເຮົາບໍ່ສາມາດເຮັດຫຍັງໄດ້ຢູ່ເທິງພື້ນດິນ
ຜູ້ທີ່ຈະຕອບແທນສໍາລັບສິ່ງນັ້ນ
You pilots had choices up there.
What choices did we have on the ground but to be sitting ducks!
Who’s gonna answer for that?
PHOUKAO
(humbled)
ຂ້ອຍຈະຕອບແທນສິ່ງນັ້ນ
ຂ້າພະເຈົ້າຮູ້ເຖິງຄວາມເຈັບປວດທີ່ທ່ານທຸກຄົນໄດ້ປະສົບຢູ່ໃນຖໍ້າ
Tham ຊາຍທີ່ລອດຊີວິດຈາກລະເບີດຫຼາຍລ້ານ
ຂວາພວກເຮົາມີທາງເລືອກ
ເປັນການເລືອກຂອງຂ້າພະເຈົ້າທີ່ຈະຮັບຜິດຊອບໃນເວລານີ້ສໍາລັບລະເບີດທັງຫມົດທີ່ພວກເຂົາເຈົ້າໄດ້ຖິ້ມ
I will.
I’ve heard the stories of the cave-dwellers for years, the sacrifices you made yourself.
Tham. The Man Who Survived A Million Bombs.
You’re right, we had choices up there, and you had none.
I can’t change the past, but I’ll take responsibility for every bomb that fell.
THAM
(burning)
ລະເບີດທຸກຄັ້ງໄດ້ຖິ້ມ
ຍັງມີລະເບີດຫຼາຍຢູ່ໃນພື້ນ
ລະເບີດຍັງຂ້າຄົນ
ແມ່ແລະພໍ່ລ້ຽງລູກຊົ່ວ
ບາບ
ຄວາມອັບອາຍເຂົາຈະບໍ່ໃຫ້ອະໄພຕໍ່ການທໍລະຍົດຂອງເຈົ້າ
ທ່ານສາບແຊ່ງອະນາຄົດຂອງປະເທດເຮົາຫຼືສິ່ງທີ່ຍັງເຫຼືອ
Every bomb that fell?
Most are still in the ground, “hero”.
This is on you.
Your bombs are still killing people.
If only your mother and father could see your face now.
Is this how they raised you?
They will never forgive your betrayal, like a curse upon the land for all the future of our country.
Or what’s left of it.
(Wind picks up again)
PHOUKAO
(defensive)
ເຈົ້າผีບາ
ຂ້າພະເຈົ້າມີຄວາມກ້າຫານທີ່ຈະຕໍ່ສູ້ເພື່ອປະເທດຂອງພວກເຮົາເອງ
ເຈົ້າບໍ່ໄດ້ຊະນະສົງຄາມໂດຍການຢູ່ລອດ
ເຈົ້າຕ້ອງຕໍ່ສູ້ຫຼືລູກຂອງເຮົາຈະຕ້ອງຕໍ່ສູ້
ຂ້ອຍເຮັດໃຫ້ຊີວິດຂອງຂ້ອຍຕົກຢູ່ໃນອັນຕະລາຍເມື່ອຂຶ້ນເຮືອບິນ
ທັງຫມົດທີ່ພວກເຮົາຮູ້ແມ່ນສົງຄາມສະຕະວັດຫຼັງຈາກສະຕະວັດ
ຂ້ອຍຖືກບັງຄັບໃຫ້ສູ້ຮົບ
ພໍ
ເຈົ້າຮູ້ບໍພໍ່ຂອງຂ້າພະເຈົ້າໄດ້ສະລະຊີວິດໃນການຕໍ່ສູ້ເພື່ອຄວາມເປັນເອກະລາດ Laos
ລາວສູ້ລົບກັບ Burma Siam ຊາວຝຣັ່ງ
ແຕ່ໃນທີ່ສຸດກໍແມ່ນຊາວບ້ານອື່ນໆທີ່ໄດ້ສັງຫານທ້າວເພິ່ນ
ສົງຄາມບໍ່ເຄີຍສິ້ນສຸດລົງ
At least I had the courage to fight for our own country.
You don’t win wars by surviving.
You have to fight.
Or our children will have to fight for us.
I put my life on the line every time I stepped into that plane.
All our people have known is war, century after century.
I am so sick of being invaded.
My father gave his life fighting for Laos independence also.
He fought Burma, Siam, the French.
But in the end it was other Laotians that killed him.
War never ends.
THAM
(broken)
ແລະໃນທີ່ສຸດທ່ານຈະບໍ່ສາມາດຊະນະສົງຄາມໄດ້ຈັກເທື່ອ
ບາບແລະການພະນັນທັງຫມົດຂອງເຈົ້າ…ບໍ່ມີຫຍັງ
ບາບຂອງທ່ານຫນັກເກີນໄປ
ພວກເຮົາໄດ້ຈ່າຍສໍາລັບຄວາມລົ້ມເຫຼວຂອງທ່ານ
And in the end you could not even win the war.
All of your sins, justifications, and gambles….were for nothing.
(Thunder strikes closer)
Your karma debt was too heavy.
WE paid for YOUR failure with OUR sacrifices.
PHOUKAO
(reconciling)
ພວກເຮົາເຫັນການເສຍສະລະຂອງທ່ານ
ພວກເຮົາຈະໃຫ້ກຽດແກ່ການເສຍສະລະທັງຫມົດຂອງປະຊາຊົນລາວ
ຄວາມລົ້ມເຫຼວຂອງຂ້ອຍບໍ່ຄວນໄປເສຍ
Tham ຂ້າພະເຈົ້າຈະໄດ້ສະລະຊີວິດເພື່ອເສລີພາບຂອງຂອງພວກເຮົາ
ມັນຄວນຈະເປັນຂ້ອຍແຕ່ມັນບໍ່ແມ່ນ
ຂ້າພະເຈົ້າມີແຕ່ເສຣີພາບທີ່ຈະຊ່ວຍບູລະນະທີ່ດິນຂອງພວກເຮົາຄືນໃຫມ່ທີ່ເປັນຄວາມຮັບຜິດຊອບຂອງຂ້າພະເຈົ້າ
We will honor your sacrifices.
We will honor all sacrifices of all Laotians in this war.
My failures don’t have to be for nothing.
I would have given my OWN life myself for our freedom, Tham.
It should’ve been me but it wasn’t.
Now all I want is to help rebuild our land.
That is one of the only freedoms I have left.
My responsibility to my people.
THAM
(stern)
ສ້າງໃຫມ່ທ່ານເວົ້າວ່າ
ທ່ານຜູ້ຊາຍທີ່ຖິ້ມລະເບີດເຫຼົ່ານັ້ນເປັນເວລາຫຼາຍປີຈະຊ່ວຍບູລະນະສິ່ງທີ່ແຕກຫັກໄດ້ແນວໃດ
Rebuild, you say?
How can you, a man who dropped those bombs for years, help rebuild what’s been broken?
PHOUKAO
(determined)
ຂ້ອຍສາມາດເລີ່ມຕົ້ນໂດຍການຮ່ວມທີມກັບເຈົ້າ
ພວກເຮົາທັງສອງໄດ້ເຫັນຄວາມທຸກທໍລະມານແລະປະເທດຂອງພວກເຮົາສົມຄວນທີ່ຈະດີກວ່າ
ຄົນລຸ້ນໃນອະນາຄົດຂອງຊາວລາວສົມຄວນໄດ້ຮັບLaosດີກວ່າເມື່ອເຮົາພົບ
ປະເທດອັນດີງາມ
I can start by acknowledging my part in this, by working alongside you.
We’ve both seen the suffering, and our country deserves better.
All of our children, the future generations of Laotians, deserve a Laos better than when we found it. A country that is whole.
THAM
(tired)
ປະເທດທີ່ແບ່ງແຍກແລະຕິດເຊື້ອຈະບໍ່ບໍລິສຸດອີກຈັກເທື່ອ
ພວກເຮົາຈະສູນເສຍປະເທດຂອງພວກເຮົາໄປສູ່ອໍານາດຕ່າງປະເທດ
Laos ຈະຫຼົງແລະຖືກລືມໃນປະຫວັດສາດແລະລຸ້ນຂອງພວກເຮົາຈະມີມືເປື້ອນ
A country that is divided and infected with bombs will never be whole again.
The next war we will surely lose our country entirely to a foreign power.
From our ancestors to our children, Laos will be lost and forgotten in history, and our generation will have our hands dirty.
PHOUKAO
(waits a few beats)
ທ່ານຈະຂໍອະໄພແນວໃດເມື່ອທ່ານບໍ່ມີສິດທີ່ຈະ
ເຈົ້າຂໍອະໄພໃຫ້ຄົນອື່ນໄດ້ແນວໃດ
How do you ask for forgiveness when you don’t have the right to?
How do you ask for forgiveness for someone else?
(Fire crackles)
THAM
(respectfully)
ເພາະການອະທິດຖານເຮັດໄດ້ແຕ່ເມື່ອທ່ານອະທິຖານເພື່ອຄົນອື່ນ
Because praying only works when you pray for other people.
PHOUKAO
(clarity)
ຂໍເຊີນອ້າຍອະທິຖານນໍາຂ້ອຍ
ແຕ່ອັຟການິສຖານຍັງບໍ່ພຽງພໍ
ເທື່ອນີ້ເຮົາຕ້ອງໄດ້ຟັງກັນກ່ອນມັນຊ້າເກີນໄປ
ລະເບີດບໍ່ໄດ້ທໍາລາຍທີ່ດິນຊ້າງ
Then pray with me brother.
But praying is not enough.
This time we must listen to each other before it grows too late.
A million bombs is not enough to kill the Land of A Million Elephants.
THAM
(after a pause, reluctantly)
ບາງທີອາດ…
ມີວິທີທາງທີ່ເຮົາສາມາດຊອກຫາເສັ້ນທາງທີ່ຈະກ້າວໄປຫນ້ານໍາກັນ
ແຕ່ມັນຈະບໍ່ເປັນເລື່ອງງ່າຍ
Perhaps… Perhaps there’s a way we can find a path forward together. But it won’t be easy.
PHOUKAO
(standing up and walking towards the fire)
ປ່ອຍໃຫ້ໄປ
Then we better get going.
*RAIN BREAKS AS THEY STAND IN SILENCE, THE WEIGHT OF THEIR SHARED HISTORY AND THE ROAD AHEAD HEAVY ON THEIR SHOULDERS, AS THEY CAUTIOUSLY BEGIN THE POSSIBILITY OF RECONCILIATION AND REBUILDING IN THE WAKE OF THE LAOS SECRET WAR.*
